Thursday, January 28, 2010

Where do I turn in my cape?

'Cause I'm all done. Well, mentally all done. I'm all done being a superhero. I'm ready to have one identity. I'm ready to not have to go sneaking off for covert operations (at NICU). I'm ready to be with all my kids simultaneously. I'm ready to put away my alter-ego and put on the same face for everyone.

Each day I go to the NICU it becomes harder to leave. I think it was easy in the beginning because he was fragile and needed lots of things that I couldn't give him. As he gets closer and closer to coming home, and I can care for him mostly, I just want him home. I know he will come home when he is ready. But I am ready now. Doesn't that count for something?

Maybe this is my final month of pregnancy. You know, where you are sooooo ready to be done that you will do anything to have the baby. This is the month where the anticipation is starting to get to you, and you are ready to have your "normal" life back. That's how I feel. I can see my due date (coming home) approaching, but I don't know exactly when it will be. I look forward to it with fear, joy, excitement and relief. I just want it to get here. I'm mentally all done waiting.

Where do I turn in my cape?

1 comment:

danandcami said...

I can't imagine what you are going through! Wish I could help you. He will be home soon and you will look back on this time as such a short time in the whole scheme of things even though now it feels so long (rightly so). Hang in there you are doing a great job at being Supermom!!