Sox's Sunday Funnies

On Faith and Santa Claus

2011-03-05T06:49:00.003-07:00

My kids believe in Santa. I spent 5 Christmases getting Tiger to understand the concept of Santa. Luckily, Blanket seems to have caught on this last Christmas too.

Back in December there were a few posts on other blogs I follow (and blogs they follow, etc.) about teaching kids to believe in Santa. I thought a long time (its March) about why I teach [indoctrinate, deceive] my children to think that toys magically come from a fat man in a red suit. The answer is simple: Faith.

Children have the greatest faith. They believe in things that are good. They want to believe in the good. They still have faith that the world and the people in it are good. For children faith in Santa is simple: Santa is a good man who will bring gifts to me if I am good. Basic cause and effect.

The faith that we really want our kids to have is a lot more complicated than that. (Not that kids aren't capable of that kind of faith, it is just not as simple.) I see the faith in Santa as the simplest form of faith in Christ. Kids understand and want the reward that Santa is offering. That is not to diminish in any way the reward that Christ is offering, but eternal life with your family isn't as appealing (or as immediate) to a 5 year-old as the latest Thomas the Tank Engine.

Our faith in Christ isn't instantly rewarded the way our faith in Santa is. (Though my kids may argue waiting for Christmas takes an eternity.) Faith in Christ is rewarded more fully, more frequently, and for longer than faith in Santa.

Faith in Santa (for me) helps me get my kids to exercise their faith muscles.

They believe in something they do not see.
They make choices that affect the reward they receive.
They exercise patience in gaining this reward.
They are granted grace (kids aren't perfect)
After much waiting, but at a pre-arrainged time, they are rewarded with something they really want.

And once they grasp the whole Santa concept, then having faith in something bigger and more complex becomes easier. Practicing our faith on Santa helps my kids truly have better faith in Christ.

The 5 of the Tiger

2011-03-04T08:58:00.004-07:00

Five years ago

you came to us

strong and mighty son.

We waited long

we wanted much

for you to join the fun.

A joy you are

and brother true

to those beneath your wings.

Fun, funny

leader, friend, example

and a thousand other things.

May you always be the best you know how to be.

Happy Birthday

Naughty in the potty

2011-03-04T06:41:00.002-07:00

This is Mac's favorite place to play.

We have instituted a close the potty and close the door rule.

Tiger and Blanket are very good about following the rules.

B.A.R. is good about following the rules

Stitches needs improvement with following the rules, but she is the one who suffers the consequences of leaving the potty available to Mac.

splish, splash

busted!

if you're not going to stop me, then I'll go back to playing.

My latest creation

2011-02-28T10:14:00.002-07:00

I have been making a concerted effort to finish this quilt I started before Mac was born. I would work on it, and then it would get moved off the sewing table in favor of projects with a deadline. I decided to make it happen at the beginning of the year. I have worked on it, but I have also read 9.5 books since Mac's birthday too. I am so glad it is finished.

I used a pattern called All Aboard from The Teacher's Pet. This quilt is for Blanket, and so much of the personalization is geared to him. I left the elephants out of the gondola 'cause elephants would never ride in a gondola.

Close-ups of the quilting

The big reveal

It's hanging up right now if you want to come inspect it.

2011-01-13T16:02:00.002-07:00

This post needs a picture, and maybe it will get one later. ddddd

I noticed something today. Mac is lighter when he sleeps.

When he is awake he loves to be held. But it is almost impossible for me to hang on to him. He wiggles and squirms. He is looking at the floor, at the ceiling, at almost everything that is around him. He moves and bends and twists and dips and arches and curls and pushes and pulls and grabs and scratches and pokes and reaches. He is my baby who needs to be held, carried, and cuddled the most. He is also the one who is the most likely to make you want to put him down. 2o pounds of long, skinny, wiggly boy is quite a workout to hold onto.

Twice today (well 3 times if you count the middle of the night) he has fallen into a deep sleep and I have carried him. Both times I thought "he seems so light." It must be that 20 pounds isn't all that much if it isn't constantly added onto by all sorts of directional movement.

Mac's 1!!!

2011-01-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

He doesn't have any teeth. He doesn't feed himself anything besides graham crackers. He did a great job destroying the cake, but didn't really like it when I put some in his mouth.

Blanket's birthday

2011-01-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Blanket's birthday falls the same week as Thanksgiving. I was cooking for Thanksgiving and didn't want to have to make a cake too, so this year we kept it simple and bought a cake. He insisted on blowing out the candles more than once.

Elven Magic

2011-01-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

These escapees from the north pole appeared on our Christmas card.

For those who didn't get a card here's the cheery photos.

S'mores and Hot Chocolate

2011-01-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

We started some Christmas Eve traditions at our house. Our kids had never eaten hot chocolate nor s'mores. They were both a big hit.

And afterwards we put out our stockings and then looked for Santa.

No, really. That's what they told me they were doing standing by the door.

Fabric Creations

2011-01-06T12:00:00.001-07:00

Here's the promised post about what I have managed to sew over the last few months.

Two quilts that were donated to Firehouse Quilts. (scroll down to Littleton, CO)

Reversible apron for me.

Apron for Grandma Stitches

Apron for Leprechaun (nephew)

Apron for Froggie (my SIL).

Apron for Grandma B.A.R.

Apron for Grandma Stitches.

Not pictured ('cause I was in to much of a hurry to get them mailed for Christmas):

Apron for Birdie (niece)

2 pairs each pjs for Leprechaun and Birdie

Work on a quilt for Blanket (photos when that is finished).

Sleep (Part 2)

2011-01-05T21:42:00.002-07:00

Some days even chocolate ice cream isn't enough to keep him awake.

Track around the world.

2011-01-05T10:48:00.003-07:00

Maybe not around the world, but around the house for sure. Way back in the summer Santa scored all this great Thomas stuff for a smallish price. Ever since we had wondered if there was enough to go "all the way around". All the way around our downstairs, that is. And since B.A.R. is out of town for the next few days (and I don't have to pick up toys for any good reason) I added on to the Brendham Docks and Tidmouth Sheds the boys had started with. Note: these are not all the buildings/track we have. 3 buildings, 1 bridge and about 10 little adapter tracks were not needed to build this.

Now for our tour

We start at Brendham Docks and Tidmouth Sheds in the Front/playroom

Out to the junction and onto the hallway tile.

Down the hallway, past the stairs, laundry and a broken-down train.

Past the basement steps and around the corner.

Along the other hallway waving to the office and the bathroom as you pass.

Down the step to the TV room (new white sectional shown) and turning the corner into the kitchen.

Up the step and past the trash can.

Kitchen hardwood covered and into the dining room.

Final corner and dining table avoidance.

Back to the playroom.

Stop at the carnival.

Back to the junction.

Note the use of lots of curved track at the end because I was all out of straight track. Now back to my adult chores.

Reasons for my absence

2011-01-03T16:06:00.003-07:00

These are my extended absence excuses.

1. I have 3 children that are home all day and demand my attention (refereeing) most of that time.
2. Blanket got potty-trained.

3. Mac army crawls.

4. I read 19 books last year.

5. I sewed and sewed and sewed (see upcoming post).

6. I watched every episode of Glenn Beck since June. Most from my DVR while I sew.

7. I survived Christmas, and all the preparations.

8. Mac had a baby blessing (way back in May).

9. I haven't slept 8 hours in a row in more than a year and a half. I am generally tired.

10. I keep finding interesting books that I don't have time to read or even listen to (audiobooks).

11. We are painting our main floor and spent all of last week painting all the walls save one (I don't think I can take the TV down w/o breaking it so B.A.R. is asking his coworker to help him move it, paint behind it, and put it back).

12. It seems like Mac has had a cold since Labor Day (save a week or two) and has been cranky, consequently.

13. I have been following the news, not writing my own.

14. I stayed up all night watching election returns. No, really.

15. I applied for, and obtained a CHP. I even went to the courthouse twice.

16. Two of my kids had birthdays.

17. I made a Halloween costume.

18. We did family pictures in October.

19. We replaced 2 couches and a chair with a sectional (free of course)

20. I looked high and low for 2 chronically missing toys (parts to shape sorter and alphabet toys) without finding them.

21. I found the two missing toys deep in the recesses of my mauve lay-z-boy (a month or so after the great toy quest). I also found a tube of neosporin, 2 spoons, a pencil, a sucker stick, a dozen Q-tips and lots of unmentionables.

22. We disposed of the Lay-z-boy before it could hide any more treasures.

23. I changed out all my kids clothing for the next size (Tiger 5t, Blanket 2t, Mac 12 mo)

I hope to blog more regularly in the coming months, but I realize I am a busy mom who likes sewing and reading as much as blogging (and sometimes more).

Mommy, I want to go there! {pointing fingers}

2011-01-03T16:01:00.002-07:00

I often get this remark when we drive by the toy store (on our way somewhere else) or when we drive by a friend's house or generally anywhere they enjoy being, and recognize. Blanket, however, said this to me this morning before I had gotten dressed.

He ran up to me and pointed at my shirt "Mommy, I want to go back there!" I looked down to see what shirt I was wearing and saw him pointing at the IN-N-OUT logo on my shirt.

My response: "I really want to go back there too. I am glad you remembered."

I miss living in IN-N-OUT country.

CTW

2011-01-03T15:53:00.002-07:00

Yesterday Tiger got a new primary class. Yesterday Tiger remembered what he talked about in Primary for the first time. He told me CTR means Choose the Right. He told me he wants to choose the right.

Today we were getting in the car and he was mad about something and he hit Blanket on the shoulder. Then when asked he told me he didn't do anything. I told Tiger that hitting his brother was not choosing the right, and neither was lying about it. He responded with "I don't want to choose the right. I want to choose the WRONG!"

I am glad he knows the difference between right and wrong. I am glad he has agency to choose right from wrong.

P.S. This post reminds me of my seminary teacher Bro. Wilcox. If you had him you'll know why.

Big Hair

2010-12-23T10:09:00.004-07:00

Is it 1985? Blanket came up and asked me the other day for "big hair." I obliged.
Well, I obliged as far as I could with his buzz-in-need-of-rebuzzing. The next day he asked for it again and Tiger chimed in for a similar 'do. I took photos. It should be noted that I do not like this style, but I let them make some of their own decisions. At least they haven't asked for it since.

As an added bonus: Mac still doesn't have enough hair to do anything with: no big hair for him.

Things I didn't know I didn't know.

2010-12-16T11:33:00.004-07:00

The stomach flu having come, and mostly gone is giving me a great chance to reflect on things I don't normally notice:

1. Cleaning jobs have a pecking order around here: Hazmat and biohazard, other wet cleanup, dishes, laundry, toys and general cleanup, vacuuming, kitchen cleaning, bathroom cleaning.
On biohazard: I didn't know that I could wake from a deep sleep at 11:30pm to clean an entire bathroom, bathe a vomiting Tiger, prep his bed for reentry, dress and readmit him to bed in less than an hour. Thanks also to Tiger, the downstairs bathroom also got a good cleaning.
On dishes: I don't like doing dishes. I don't. I tend to avoid it until necessary (I tend to uload, load, and run in one shot.) Yet I find myself willingly doing them before most other things which I enjoy doing significantly more. I have found that I dislike "shopping" for a clean dish in the dishwasher more than I dislike "shopping" for clean clothes in a laundry basket (folded or unfolded). I dislike dishes that have sat in the dishwasher more than a day. Laundry, on the other hand, waits patiently in the basket to be hidden away in its designated recesses. Staleness, here, is not a problem (though wrinkles tend to be). Though, the thing that makes me do dishes the most is not being able to use (and being forced to clean, or substitute another for) the one I want because it is waiting to be washed.
On Laundry: I don't mind (and sometimes enjoy) the rhythm brought to a day by the regular loading and unloading of mechanized textile cleaning apparatuses. I like the sound of my top-load washer doing all the hard scrubbing (and I know, 'cause I did it by hand at one point in my life). I don't love folding, nor do I even like it, but I choose it. Rather, I choose something I want to watch while I fold the mountain I made during my weekly laundry dance. I like having folded/sorted clothes to choose from even if they hide in their basket for a few days (or until the next laundry day-but I try to avoid that).
On toys and general cleanup: I try to pick up the toys once a day or less, and let my kids do it (with much provocation) to do it the rest of the time. I keep my house moving, without keeping it super clean. As long as ALL the toys aren't out, I can deal with a fleet of 20 or 30 cars lined up nicely. Likewise all the blocks are fine if it doesn't also include all the trains and all the balls.
On vacuuming: I like to vacuum. Mostly I like to use my vacuum. But I hate picking up all the toys and clutter just to have the kids go behind me while I am vacuuming and make a mess either before or after I have vacuumed. Sometimes I make a game of it pretending the vacuum is going to suck up all the toys left on the floor, but then I am focused on the game and not on adequately vacuuming. Finding things I missed after I put the vacuum away is almost as annoying as messes being made while I am cleaning up. I vacuum regularly, though not as often as I would like because it is not as rewarding when the kids aren't keeping things orderly for me.

On kitchens and baths: Cleaning my kitchen and my bath aren't on my list of things I ever want to do. I do get to them when the level of uncleanliness bothers me. That is the motivating factor, period. If you would like me to do something for you, just come clean my bathroom for me. The kitchen gets cleaned more frequently because of simple math: guests are more likely to see my kitchen sink than see the inside of my shower.

2. I have always suspected that if I had not been raised to shun addictive substances I would be dead or chronically addicted to everything bad for me. Normally, I have fewer than 4 cokes/caffeinated beverages a year. After this stomach bug I just wasn't recovering enough to be a functional parent for my kids, until I had some coke. It made it all better. All better except for the staying up all night-needing caffeine to compensate for the lack of sleep-needing more to make me feel normal-needing more to make me feel almost as good as the last can cycle. I can see I need to stay away from addictive substances, and why coffee drinkers aren't functioning well until they have had their java. Please be kind while I go through withdrawl.

3. Mac can be happy all day if fed and napped at appropriate times and placed in a room with lots of his toys and his brothers. Not having him constantly crying for attention when I was feeling dead was great.

4. Losing 5 pounds overnight is possible, while remaining somewhat hydrated. Though I wouldn't recommended it. And it's not pleasant at all. It also makes my skinny pants fall off. It will probably make me go down a dress size or two.

and finally:

5. The NRA sells Christmas cards. I bet you didn't know that.

Instead of flowers

2010-10-07T09:59:00.003-06:00

I don't like getting flowers. I think they are a waste: they stink, they die, they are very immediate. I would rather the money was spent on a more practical gift. I even keep a list on the computer so that B.A.R can know what I want in advance. It works great for us.

I mentioned to him the other day that I liked something that I saw advertised in one of his magazines. Then he went out of town on business and came back with the item that I had mentioned. He even drove an extra 130 miles (65 each way) to go get it.

What is the most interesting gift you have received instead of flowers?

Tiger's Conversation: Dogs

2010-05-28T10:56:00.002-06:00

I was reading with Tiger the other day and we discussed getting a pet. He said he wanted a dog. I don't want a pet while I still have little kids that need to be cared for as much as a pet does.

Sox: You can have a dog when you get bigger and you can take care of it.

--Much moving around, wiggling, standing, stretching--

Sox: Do you need to go potty?

Tiger: No, I am getting bigger so that I can have a dog.

Sox: But you need to get a lot bigger.

Tiger: (stretching) I am getting a lot bigger.

Sox: You need to get big enough to take care of a dog.

Tiger: No I don't need to take care of the dog.

Sox: Why not?

Tiger: The dog will take care of me. Can I have a dog now?

Sox: Um, No.

A Tiger Emergency.

2010-05-26T06:28:00.003-06:00

"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Well, maybe it does if you are my son. Tiger had been reading Chicka, Chicka, 1, 2, 3 and loving it. He saw on
the back of the book a picture of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and he wanted to read that. One day he demanded that I get it for him. I dutifully went to the library's website and put it on hold for him. About an hour later he asked me when we were going to go get it. I told him it would be ready in a couple of days. That was just not going to do. He needed Chicka Chicka Boom Boom today. It was an emergency!

Finally, at 4 o'clock, I'd had it with the daylong requests/demands to go to the library to get the book. I checked to make sure the library had one in stock and then I loaded the whole tribe into the car for a trip to the library when I should have been making dinner. I did manage to negotiate a return of Chicka Chicka 1, 2, 3 in exchange for the emergency check-out of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. When we arrived one of our favorite librarians asked why we were there (usually we go in the morning) and I explained our "emergency." Liz quickly filled our request and I picked up a few more books for Tiger. We arrived home about 4:40 and started making dinner late. At least I didn't have a dinner emergency where I was out of a necessary ingredient and had to run out for that too.

I hate 4 pm emergencies, even when they don't involve a hospital.

And for the record: Tiger reads Chicka Chicka Boom Boom 4+ times every day in the week that we have had it.

9 years of bliss

2010-05-25T08:16:00.002-06:00

'cause I love him. That's just how it is. I'm not perfect. He's not perfect, but we keep choosing
to be perfect together.

Phobia update

2010-05-22T09:53:00.005-06:00

Tiger's phobia's are changing. His fear of the dark is minimal (he will walk into a darkened room to turn on the light). His claustrophobia is MUCH better (he will shut himself in the pantry and use a small public restroom stall). But with progress on existing phobias we seem to develop new phobias. His newest--Ancraophobia- Fear of wind. (Anemophobia).

This may seem odd, but around here this:
is commonly the icon for the weather from weather.com. During the spring and fall people fly kites for fun, because you can't play catch (it's too windy). I know, I live at 5900 feet, but this is the prairie and the wind blows and blows and blows.

When we lived in Hesperia, California the weather was "too hot, too cold, or too windy." Here the weather is rarely too hot, it is often too cold, and during the spring/fall it is often windy.

Tiger had an encounter with the wind about a month ago. We went to the park about a block from our house on a low wind day. A strong (40 mph) gust (singular) came up and blew Tiger's hat off, and pushed the stroller (with Mac in it) and dumped trash cans and threw trash all over the park. Ever since, if there is a slight breeze, Tiger cannot be out in it. Tiger is afraid that everything smaller than Blanket will blow away (including, but not limited to: library books in a bag, Mac in a stroller, hats, my hair, etc.) If I have more than one door open on the truck (and there is a draft) or any other encounter with major air movement Tiger has a FIT, meltdown, screaming, flailing, cannot focus or reason or follow directions tantrum. This is the same fit we have had with other phobias. I hope I can be as patient with this newest phobia as I have with the others. But if you see me walking outdoors with an uncontrollable Tiger check the weather, because it is probably windy (or just gusting above 10 mph).

In other phobia news: Blanket has Acrophobia-fear of heights (his only phobia). He won't go down slides. He freaks out being up on Daddy's shoulders. He is very happy being very low down. At least Tiger hasn't acquired this phobia, yet.

Sleep

2010-05-12T08:24:00.001-06:00

Because some things are more important than food.

Taming Tiger

2010-05-12T08:04:00.003-06:00

Ever since Tiger could crawl sacrament meeting has been a challenge for me. I like my kids to be quiet enough so that I (and those around me) can listen to the speakers. I'd love for my kids to want to sit and listen too. But those aren't my kids. The toys that keep them the quietest are cars (still too noisy for me, but they are the best that I can do). Tiger has never really enjoyed coloring/scribbling. His newly discovered reading/writing/spelling skills have suddenly helped him be more quiet during sacrament meeting (he still talks incessantly during Primary).

This past Sunday (Mother's Day) He spent reading the hymnal. He liked that he could read the words to some of the songs, and he worked on number theory (the hymnal has hymns numbered past 300 with BIG numbers on the pages). Blanket LOVES to color (everything, but that is another post for another time) and so we have paper and crayons for him to scribble his way through the meeting. Tiger now likes to use the crayons too, in his own way:

some, some, more, word, word, word I, word, some

Tiger wrote his name and Mac's name and mom, be, one

like, and some faces

Tiger practicing his name.

Oh, and when he went up to sing for mother's day, he said lots of funny things like, "I can see dad!" that many people heard. And he didn't sing. Not one single word.

Check your calendar

2010-05-12T07:57:00.002-06:00

'cause it's supposed to say May!

But, as you can see, the weather around here is failing to cooperate.

I took these this morning.

An inch of snow in the middle of May. Welcome to Colorado.

Rain Rocks

2010-05-03T09:15:00.003-06:00

The other day I was feeling totally bummed because the weather was cold and windy.

We could not play outside.

I was letting the kids watch Thomas movies (thanks DVR)

and the sky got dark.

Really, really dark.

Instead of looking at it to see if it was GREEN, or checking for tornado warnings,

I let my kids look out the windows.

Tiger asked me what that noise was. I told him it was hail.

He told me it was rain rocks.

Marble sized hail and tornado warnings (that I missed) make for an interesting afternoon.

20-30 minutes of hail and it looked like winter again.

Though I think it snows here more in the fall/spring than it does in the winter.

On a happy note, the sun came out later and made it feel all springy again.

Today even promises to approach 70.

Turn about is fair play

2010-05-02T16:42:00.003-06:00

If you don't know, my kids LOVE adult cereal. Grape Nuts, raisin bran, frosted mini-wheats, and granola. Seriously, I am the one who eats Cheerios, and B.A.R. eats Froot Loops and Lucky Charms. This is necessary information for the following story (which just happened).

Tiger and Blanket like to eat granola without milk for snacks/meals. Earlier today Tiger poached the unfinished granola out of Blanket's bowl while Blanket was napping (saving his own unfinished for later). I refilled the bowls after Blanket woke up. The fresh fillings went 80% consumed (normal). A couple of hours later (just a few minutes ago), Tiger was playing somewhere else and Blanket took Tiger's unfinished granola and poured it into his own bowl. Tiger returned and complained to me (in his whiny way) that Blanket had stolen his cereal. I explained to him that I had no compassion for his situation as he had done the same thing to his brother only 4 hours before.

Now I'm off to make Mac 'n' Cheese for them for dinner.

Spelling Bee

2010-04-28T11:08:00.002-06:00

Did you like the spelling bee? Did you hate it? Remember all your feelings about the spelling bee and then wonder what it would be like if it lasted all day, every day, forever. Well, maybe not forever, just for the next few months.

Welcome to my life. Tiger is officially reading books. He has been reading 3 and 4 letter words for about a year, but he really likes Dr. Seuss and other books on that level. He will read almost any book that we get at the library or have at home (even if they are for reading to him). He has some difficulty in sounding out words, but if he spells them instead of sounding them he has much more success in getting the word right. Spelling is his obsession.

He is always using the different alphabet sets (from puzzles, leap frog, fridge magnets, etc.) to make words he thinks are real. Where does he get all this spelling knowledge. Me, all day everyday. My life is a spelling bee. "How do you spell. . .? is the most common thing he says. Especially in the car. He usually spells the 2 and 3 letter words himself after he asks me. But I have been asked to spell dinosaur, stegosaurus, and other such words (not limited to junk science). It's difficult for me to spell "extraordinary" when I am trying to cook dinner and not slice off my fingers. I mentioned this phenomenon to a friend in church and then proceeded to spend the meeting trying to head off such requests quickly so that he didn't get loudly insistent "Mom, spell. . ."

I love that spelling is his favorite subject (it certainly wasn't mine) but it feels like I am in 1st grade spelling all day long. Just imagine if your kid asked you to spell every difficult word that came up in conversation with him. How much fun would that be for you.

Lots to Love

2010-04-26T14:45:00.007-06:00

There's lots to love about Blanket. He's really cute. He loves trains. He loves his brothers. He has his Nursery leaders wrapped around his finger. He is very obedient for them. He is cheerful. He smiles all the time. He loves music, coloring, singing. He is resourceful and solves many of his own "problems." He uses please and thank you. He is much better behaved (in general) at church than Tiger.

But it's possible my favorite thing about him is naptime.

My Pearl of Great Price. . .

2010-04-26T14:42:00.001-06:00

. . .and cute too.

The Terrible Twos

2010-04-26T14:31:00.003-06:00

Blanket is 2. And right now he is VERY 2. Somedays I wish he wouldn't act is age. But he is sooo cute I have a hard time not wanting to let him get away with being 2.

He colored on the walls when he was one. Lately, though he has only been coloring on the floor, and the furniture, and the library books. Each time I vow to make all marking utensils disappear and he finds another one somewhere.

He loves exploring and touching everything. He loves computers, but has no concept of how to interact with them. He makes messes if we leave doors unlocked. He has to be super supervised to keep things like this:

from happening.

Thanks to the great people at the Apple store in Park Meadows and the one in Littleton I got this fixed in one long afternoon. I managed to find about a third of the missing keys near the computer, another third Blanket handed to me in a different room, the last third have been lost in the great abyss of lost objects. I needed 6 or so keys, 3 scissors (the white things) and hope that all the keys worked again.

On a positive note, after going to time-out (and self-imposing a very long punishment time) for this little event Blanket has not touched the computer on his own since.

More Curtains

2010-04-26T14:15:00.003-06:00

I made curtains for Tiger's room when he was 3 months old.

I made a matching set about 2 years ago for the other window in his room.

A couple of weeks ago I made these:

They are on my french doors to my back yard.

I like the doors (more than a sliding door) but have always wanted these window covered.

See, from March until about November they let in the late afternoon sun. In June and July it is really hot and really bright.

And now, the sun hits the hardwood and makes a nasty reflection on my TV.

B.A.R. had finally had enough of the sun/reflection/brightness issue.

For a mere $60 (heavy-duty thread, heavy needles, fabric, blackout fabric, and 4 curtain rods) we got the window coverage we wanted.

Only one problem: it's so dark in the kitchen during the day that I have to turn the light on.

For the first time

2010-04-26T13:31:00.003-06:00

B.A.R. and I have been married for almost 9 years. We have lived in 4 states, in 3 time zones. We have had 6 addresses and have owned 3 homes. We have done dozens of different things living in all of those places. It's hard to imagine that there was anything we wanted to do together that we had never done before.

Then, on April 3, we did something we had never done in almost 9 years. We watched LDS General Conference in our own home. We purchased a TV, and satellite TV service just for the occasion.

B.A.R. really wanted to buy us a new TV for Christmas, but thought they were a little overpriced. Then Samsung came out with a newer model and this one was really inexpensive (as far as plasmas go). We both wanted a plasma (instead of LED) and wanted it big enough to truly enjoy. So for my birthday/late Christmas we got a new TV:

A new 58" plasma with HD capability is just no good without HD programming, and so we got DISH network to go with it. The day after it was installed (the transition took most of the day) we got to sit in our house and enjoy Conference.

That little shelf (on the side) love it too.

Firsts: Buy TV, Buy TV Programming, Watch Conference from home.

To see what we got rid of see this post, and this post to understand us and our purchasing choices better.

Meet my newest sewing friend.

2010-04-26T11:22:00.002-06:00

His name is Bodkin.

He makes projects like this:

and this:

much easier.

I bought vinyl tablecloth fabric for my table and chairs. I had just added a leaf to my table and it was nearly impossible to find a tablecloth in the right size. I made a pattern for the seat covers out of the seat. I just traced it and added about 4 or 5 inches. For the top, I cut out a rectangle the length of the table +10 inches (5 for each end). I made casings and put elastic in so that the tablecloth can't be pulled off the table and the covers fit the seats nicely. Additionally, it is inexpensive (less than $12 for all the fabric, thread, and elastic) and is easy to clean: kid-proof.

Catching up

2010-04-26T11:19:00.002-06:00

There are lots and LOTS of reasons why I haven't blogged in a while. I do not need to bore you with even the least of these. Instead I intend to blog as much as I can in the next few days and get somewhat caught up. I have been busy and taking some pictures along the way. Those I will share with my devoted (and undevoted) readers.

Twice the Man He Used to be.

2010-03-11T13:00:00.001-07:00

And happy too!

Happy Due Date Mac!

2010-02-24T10:45:00.002-07:00

You weigh more than 7 lbs.

You consume 3 oz per feeding.

You wake up to eat.

You can nurse.

You wear Newborn clothes.

You are awake 3 or so hours a day after feedings.

Good growing.

Tiger's birthday party

2010-02-12T11:42:00.002-07:00

Traditionally, I make a train cake for birthdays around here. Well, for everyone's birthday but my own. See this post. But with all the craziness around here, coupled with my exhaustion and lack of 3 hours in a row to do anything, I decided to get a store-bought cake for Tiger this year. B.A.R. (of his own initiative) selected and purchased one while at the store picking up something else.

Tiger was absolutely thrilled with his Thomas & Friends cake! Thanks B.A.R. for making my life less stressful and making Tiger's birthday enjoyable.

Well, at least Blanket had a good time.

Happy Birthday to Whom?

2010-02-08T07:24:00.003-07:00

Why to Tiger, of course. Happy Fourth!

1 week

1 year

2 years

3 years

Mac at 5 weeks

2010-02-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth. Mac did come home from the hospital on 2/2/10.
He came complete with oxygen tank,
and pulse oxymeter that is inaccurate, excessively sensitive, not sensitive enough, or just bent on waking us up every 20 minutes all night long.
He weighed about 5 lbs 13 oz when he came home from the hospital. He needs to go see the doc every week for weight checks for a while. He consumes 2-2.5 oz of fortified breast milk every 3-4 hours. He is beginning to wake up for feedings, though it isn't consistent and he must be woken and encouraged to eat most of the time.

I used to spend 3-5 hours a day at the hospital with him and pumped every 3 hours for 20 min or so. Since I turned in my superhero cape I actually spend more time in my new role as chambermaid now. I spend 30-45 minutes every 3 hours feeding him with a bottle/changing his diaper, then I pump for 15-20 minutes. I am locked in his room during this time so that Blanket and Tiger don't share their colds with him. Also, his need for oxygen limits his movements around the house somewhat. I sleep in the same room with him because it is the only way I am assured of waking to attend to his nighttime needs. The bed in my room is so comfortable (its a Tempur-Pedic) that I sleep through his nocturnal demands for food even with a baby monitor strapped to my ear.

Additonally, I have measure and mix fortifier into his food. I have to wash all the feeding supplies, and play mom when I am not busy with Mac. Oh, and I have to try and nap some too due to the 3-4 hours of sleep each night I am not getting, due to the aforementioned hour-long feeding ritual established.

Milestones we're looking forward to:

getting rid of the oxygen tank and meter.
RSV season to be over so that we can go anywhere.
to not have to fortify milk, so that feedings can be simple 20 minute affairs.

Mac at 4 weeks

2010-01-31T00:46:00.003-07:00

Weighs 5 lbs 13 oz.

Has been circumcised.

Has had 1 vaccination.

Takes almost 2 oz from a bottle.

Is no longer officially a premie.

Will likely be home in a week--just in time for Tiger's birthday.

Where do I turn in my cape?

2010-01-28T10:20:00.004-07:00

'Cause I'm all done. Well, mentally all done. I'm all done being a superhero. I'm ready to have one identity. I'm ready to not have to go sneaking off for covert operations (at NICU). I'm ready to be with all my kids simultaneously. I'm ready to put away my alter-ego and put on the same face for everyone.

Each day I go to the NICU it becomes harder to leave. I think it was easy in the beginning because he was fragile and needed lots of things that I couldn't give him. As he gets closer and closer to coming home, and I can care for him mostly, I just want him home. I know he will come home when he is ready. But I am ready now. Doesn't that count for something?

Maybe this is my final month of pregnancy. You know, where you are sooooo ready to be done that you will do anything to have the baby. This is the month where the anticipation is starting to get to you, and you are ready to have your "normal" life back. That's how I feel. I can see my due date (coming home) approaching, but I don't know exactly when it will be. I look forward to it with fear, joy, excitement and relief. I just want it to get here. I'm mentally all done waiting.

Where do I turn in my cape?

He belongs

2010-01-23T13:23:00.003-07:00

in the family. Do you see the resemblance? Here are 2 pictures each of Blanket and Tiger when they were very young. Which one do you think looks most like Mac? Vote in the poll.

Tiger 1 month

Blanket 1 month

Blanket 2 months

Tiger 1 week

Mac at 3 weeks

2010-01-23T13:12:00.005-07:00

More progress.

He's in a bassinet.

He rarely needs his hat.

The only tubes he has are oxygen and feeding.

Premie clothes don't fit anymore (he's too long).

He weighs 5 lbs.

He wakes to be fed 4-6 times a day.

He drinks entire feedings from a bottle.

He looks fat.

"She said I had a double chin. She said I looked fat."

(Name that movie, or give me the next line from that movie in the comments)

Pet Peeve

2010-01-21T13:19:00.002-07:00

That's right, I have one. Tardiness. As simple as that. I hate it when people are late. I hate it when I am late. Hate it. I think it is disrespectful to be tardy. You don't respect the other person's time as valuable if you are late.

While I was growing up, my mother taught me, "If you're not 5 minutes early, then you are late. If you are going to be late then you shouldn't go." We were always on time. ALWAYS. For everything. So on time, in fact, that my friends attempted to teach me how to be fashionably late. I still can't do that comfortably.

These days people ask me how I can be on time to church (as early as 8:30) with 2 little kids. Not just on time, early. Every Sunday. Every single one. It's simple. I plan to be early. I schedule time to be on time. I schedule the 5 minutes it takes to get to church. I schedule the 5 minutes it takes to get everyone loaded and strapped into the car. I schedule breakfast, showers, getting dressed, and I schedule extra time in case of tantrums, meltdowns and clothing/hair malfunctions. I make sure I have time for all those things to happen, and time for the unexpected.

If you know me you know I plan (schedule) very few things. Because if I make an appointment I have to be on time for it. It stresses me out to be late. My planner is very vacant.

I like the freedom of a to-do list. I like to make a suggested list of activities that is free of time constraints. Appointments leave open the option of being late; and I can't have that.

As a teenager one of my friends was constantly late. Her whole family was late. We used to joke that the problem was so bad they would be late to their own funerals. They simply didn't practice the art of being on time.

Once, her dad was supposed to take us to the airport so that we could go on vacation together. We agreed upon a time that would get us to the airport with plenty of time for check-in and security. I even had included a 20-30 min "time buffer" in case of traffic problems or other unforeseen disasters. I didn't schedule the disaster of them being late.

Needless to say, they were late picking me up. I don't remember how late it was, but I think it was more than 45 minutes.

When I called my mom after we got to our destination (we did make our flight) she told me she was sorry they were late. I asked her how she knew they had been late: she had been at work. She told me about the mess I had made in the living room with a deck of cards and the furniture. I had been playing solitaire while I waited and waited. I had gotten so mad I literally shuffled the deck of cards into the air and let it rain all over the furniture, repeatedly. The mess spoke volumes to my mom about how late they had been.

I still get really ticked when people are really late. REALLY TICKED!!!!

I say all this because I realized last night that I didn't just snap when they weren't feeding my son. I started to get mad when he wasn't fed at feeding time. The longer I waited the madder I was getting. I just didn't let it get to me for the first 20 minutes or so. Instead, I gave them the chance to make it right for that long.

It's like watching your kid do something that will eventually end badly. They do it repeatedly without the consequences until the last time wherein they get an sudden, unexpected result.

I should have seen the snap coming, but I didn't.

The burr gets under my metaphorical saddle as soon as "on time" stops and "late" begins. My level of frustration, disappointment, and feeling of disrespect is exponentially relational to the amount of time by which one is tardy for my appointment. Which explains why I was still just "warm" at 20 minutes late and "LIVID" at 30 minutes late.

If I have ever been late for an appointment with you, I apologize. I was probably already mad at myself for not being on time. If you need me to be on time for an appointment, just let me know. But don't ever, EVER, make an appointment with me and then disrespect me by being preventably late. I don't forget it when people are late. And I really don't like it either.

A Passive Aggressive Note from Mac

2010-01-21T07:31:00.001-07:00

To whom it may concern:

My mommy is explosive. Handle me with care.

Mac.

Kids say the darndest things

2010-01-21T07:15:00.003-07:00

Tiger is going to grow up to be a comedian. I have proof. When he makes you laugh, he tries all his good lines to keep you laughing.

Lately, we have been making Tiger do many things for himself that he would normally want us to do for him. Examples: clear your dishes, dress yourself, pick up your toys, bathe yourself, etc. Always things that he is capable of doing but would say, "It's too hard," or "I don't want to." So we always say "You're a big boy. You can do it." and then add some addendum about why he can do it. Like: "your arms work," or "your strong enough," or "you know how."

This morning Tiger came and got in bed with us for a couple of minutes before asking me to go down and make him some breakfast (which we don't expect him to do for himself). I declined. I told him to go downstairs and play and that I would be down later to do that for him. His response is: "Mom, you can do it. You know how to walk."

I rolled away from him and started laughing. I covered my head with the blankets and laughed even harder. I thought I had concealed my amusement somewhat when Tiger tries his other sure-fire line on me: "Mom, I said, there's a hook stuck on the front of that jeep."

A Passive Aggressive Note

2010-01-20T11:16:00.001-07:00

Dear Nurses,

If you are going to neglect my baby's care; please do it when I am not here to watch. We will all be much happier that way.

Thanx

Sox

Wherein Mama Bear Takes the Opportunity to Vent.

2010-01-19T14:27:00.005-07:00

So, the title didn't scare you off.

So, I went to see Mac at the hospital today. I try to go to one feeding a day, take the chance to see if he will learn to feed today. I get him all ready for his feeding by taking his temperature and changing his diaper and waking him up. I want him to have the best chance to learn while I am there for one feeding.
I am always on a time constraint because someone else is watching my kids. Today I had to leave right when his feeding was over so that I could pick up my kids and come home and pump (a little late). That's how it goes. Hospitals consist of routine and more routine. I know the routine, I can operate in sync with it. Things are the same everyday (the nurses change the activities don't). Until today.
Today I had a "GET BENT" moment wherein I accused the hospital staff of letting my baby starve to death. He is gaining weight, so I know that this is unlikely the case. But in that instant I truly felt that way. I felt totally at a loss.
My baby does not wake up to be fed. My baby does not cry when he is hungry. My baby does not feed himself (from a bottle). And so I sat there waiting for my baby to be fed (through a tube). Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. At about 30 minutes past feeding time I start to get really nervous. Nobody has made any motions toward feeding my baby. There is no indication that they intend to feed him. And then I snap. I suddenly feel like my baby is totally neglected. (If you have kids you know that this can happen really fast). I suddenly feel that if I don't say anything he will not get fed. I put Mac down, and then politely (ok, not politely nor quietly) accuse them of letting my baby go hungry.
Then they ask me why I'm not holding my baby. I respond, "I'm Angry." Excuse me, for stating the obvious.
Suddenly his feeding is top priority. Suddenly all the things I did to get him ready to feed are important. Suddenly all the things that were more important than Mac, weren't.
What scares me most about this is: what if I hadn't been there to say something? What assurance do I have that he is not missing feedings? He doesn't cry. He has no feeding alarm. Really, what proof do I have he will get fed? I went 2.5 weeks not worrying about it, now all my trust in them is gone!
That's what is really bothering me. That I can't trust them to feed my baby. I know this is somewhat irrational. But I was holding my baby feeling like he was getting neglected and I was powerless to stop it as soon as I left. Which I had to do imminently.
Then the Dr. calls and fills me full of some B.S. for 20 minutes about how they would never let that happen, and he was going to get fed in the next 5 minutes anyway, blah, blah, blah. I was there, she was not. I watched it go down. And all my mommy emotions saw things the way mommies are supposed to see them. I had a need to tell someone to GET BENT, though I didn't. I scream at the Dr. on the phone. I basically told her she was blowing smoke. I am sure she called to make herself feel better, because she didn't make me feel any better. I want results, not promises. Action, not excuses.
The Dr. feeds me some promise about communicating better with each other and with me, and that some other supervisor is supposed to call me and make me feel better. You can call, but I promise not to feel better.
I know the nurses are human. I know that they (and I) are fallible. I know that things are not perfect and situations arise that make it impossible for things to happen at exactly the same time every day. I am there everyday. I am sure I could have handled things better. I know how things work. That's why I waited and waited today to give them ample time to get his feeding started. I didn't even get mad until I suddenly realized he was powerless to get fed, and he was unable to do anything about it if I wasn't there.
Another side effect-Tiger and Blanket don't get my best for the rest of the day. I will be moody, demanding, short, impatient, pissed off, and generally not a good parent for the rest of the day, or for the next couple. To boot, Tiger got defiant and got sent to his room, waking Blanket up early from his nap. So just add two whiny kids on top of Mama Bear trying to protect her cub, and we are having a great day.
In case you really feel the need to comment, please remember I will be better about this in a couple of days. I will still feel like I did the right thing. I will still have lost a little faith in the system (that nurse in particular). I still won't want to talk about it. I will still be a little angry, but not enough to interfere with my daily activities. I will still go see my baby in the hospital. I will probably forgive them, but not forget.

Maybe I should take the Zoloft they gave me, then I will be nicer about it next time.

Thanks for listening. Go have a nice day.

Proof of progress

2010-01-14T17:33:00.002-07:00

I took the camera with me to the hospital today. I realized we had no pictures of Mac in the incubator. He was moved off the warming bed and into the isolette on 1/7/10.

Today they had the temp turned down so far that I feared tomorrow he might not be in it anymore. I might miss the opportunity to document his progress. When he went in it was turned up to 32.5 or so. If he gets all the way down to 28.0 then he gets rid of his box.

Yes, he still has some (limited) oxygen assistance. His Dr. said that if he were at sea level, this would not be a problem. It's just so hard to keep up your O2 levels at 6000 feet. Hopefully bigger lungs will mean easier breathing. For bigger lungs he has to grow, and that's what it's all about right now.

Yesterday he was 4 lbs 2.7 oz. That's almost 3 total oz above birthweight.

The Power of Youtube

2010-01-14T17:28:00.002-07:00

This is a common Saturday afternoon activity at our house. B.A.R. sits down with the computer and the boys ask for "train movie." One video turns into an hour or more of youtube entertainment. In this picture B.A.R., Zephyr, Leprechaun, and Tiger are being sucked in by youtube. Blanket had fallen asleep on the couch and was not to be revived. He missed this little adventure.
And just for extra excitement, Tiger watched the whole thing with both legs stuffed in the cracker box.
How is that comfortable?

Recipe for Entertainment

2010-01-13T20:27:00.003-07:00

During this busy time for our family, my brother Zephyr has come to stay with us to help out. I know this might seem like an odd choice, but it is really the best choice for our family. He brought with him his two children: Leprechaun, and Birdie. Leprechaun is one month younger than Tiger and Birdie is 11 months younger than Blanket. This also means that I have 2 men at my house who are in charge of almost everything. Including entertaining the kids. They have done a fantastic job. They have really let me do the things that I need to do like sleep and heal and not have to do housework and whatnot. I will sure miss Zephyr's help when he goes home. Though his wife will be glad to have him back (I think).

Interesting things happen when you leave 2 30-something men in charge of kids. Have you ever played with a cat or dog and a laser pointer? Have you ever played with 3 little boys and a laser pointer. This activity wore the boys out (all 5 of them) after just 20 minutes. It was some of the best entertainment I've had in a while. While one operated the laser, the other operated the camera. This is the result:

Hospitals are dangerous places

2010-01-12T15:30:00.003-07:00

On the boys' second visit to see me in the hospital, Blanket managed to hurt himself in my hospital room. He smacked his forehead on my nightstand and his ear on the trash can. Then they wanted to have him seen in the ER, just to make sure he was ok. We declined. Now he has a nice bruise on his forehead. At least he didn't need stitches.

Suggestions

2010-01-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

I need suggestions for a codename for the new baby. Please make submissions in the comments without using his actual name (if known by you).

A New Year, a New Life

2010-01-08T14:02:00.003-07:00

Somebody innocently inquired whether our family had a good holiday season. I responded "Yes, it was good. Just one I'd never like to repeat."

Our holidays/vacation were great, fantastic, wonderful, good, blessed, and miraculous. They were also frustrating, scary, noisy, frantic, unexpected, lazy, housebound, and sometimes boring.

While I did expect our lives to change in many ways this upcoming year, I didn't expect that these changes would come on the morning of the first day of the year. Before breakfast.

Back in June I wrote this post about changes coming in my life. I had just found out I was pregnant and could see that many things in my life would be changing. First we needed a bigger car (see this post). Second, I was very sick for a couple of months and fell off the blogging bandwagon for a while. Third, I found out that I would likely have pregnancy complications.

I learned that I would almost surely need a C-section (never needed one before). I also learned that I would probably spend the last 6-8 weeks of my pregnancy on bedrest. I figured that at least I was armed with this knowledge. Then I had complications that put me on partial bedrest beginning Dec 6. I had no more problems and so was permitted to make the trip to Utah for Christmas.

We drove back from Utah on Dec 27. I went into the hospital Dec 28 (severe complications). I spent a few days there and was doing well enough to be considered for discharge to go home to COMPLETE BEDREST. All parties decided that spending the full week in the hospital before going home would be the best plan.

Friday morning, while I was filling out my breakfast order (never to be submitted), I had more complications. It was 7:10 am 1/1/10. My Doctor was requested, and by 7:45 she and I agreed I should have the baby ASAP. I called my husband while being prepped for surgery. I had about 15 minutes alone while I was waiting to actually begin to stress out. I went into surgery at 8:53. My little boy was born at 9:17.

8 weeks early. Large for his gestational age (but not fat). Breathing not very well at all. Grumpy about being taken out of his very comfortable home. Born nonetheless. Expected to grow up healthy and strong.

So here come my changes. Not exactly what I had in mind. My life is going to be different than I predicted. I still have a baby, but he didn't come home with me. I am not spending the first 6 weeks of the year in bed, I get to spend it going to the hospital everyday to see my boy. Tiger and Blanket get a "back to normal" mommy before they have to learn to live with a little brother.

I am sure that this year will be filled with doctors appointments and other related activities.

I am sure my little boy who spent 4 days learning how to breath will dazzle me with his milestones all year. We live at 6000 ft elevation and today (one week old) he breathes without assistance.

I am sure the month my baby is in the hospital will actually be one of the best all year. What other time do you get time to spend alone with your baby and there are no other things to focus on?

I am sure my bigger boys will love that brother of theirs the way only brothers can.

I am sure Tiger will be glad he got a brother even though he really wanted a sister.

I am sure I can't foresee everything.

I am sure there will lots of bumps and challenges along the way.

This is the new year. Welcome, my new life.

Kids say the darndest things

2009-12-15T09:34:00.007-07:00

Yesterday, while I was at an appointment, B.A.R. took the kids to run a couple of errands. When he came to get me he told me that the Tiger "quote of the day" happened while they were at the Apple store. He had the boys in the parking lot and Tiger says (at full Tiger volume): "Hey! Check it out! There is a hook stuck on the front of that Jeep!" This was in reference to the winch on the front of a Hummer.

Possibly funnier to me, was while B.A.R. is trying to remain calm and not laugh hysterically at his own son, there was a woman getting into her own car close by and she was laughing uncontrollably at what my son said.

When I heard the story it made me laugh uncontrollably too.

Not 5 minutes later we stopped to get some dinner and Tiger says, "Hey! Check it out!" and points to the flashing "OPEN" sign at the restaurant.

Where did he learn it anyway?

A Christmas memory

2009-12-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

This is a story that I think of every year at Christmas. I happened to witness it. I wish I could have an experience like this one every year. Names have been changed.

When I was in 5th grade my teacher had us all participate in a "white elephant" type gift exchange. We all drew names: girls chose girls, boys chose boys. With 30+ kids in the class there was a very low likelihood that two people would give gifts to each other, however in this case it did happen. Adam and Billy drew each other's names.

Adam and Billy were very different. Adam's father owned his own business and did very well. His mother stayed home with their children and volunteered in our classroom regularly. Adam had an extensive collection of Micro Machines and always had new, trendy clothes. Adam was out-going, a good student, well-liked and could pick his friends. Billy was none of those things.

Billy was near the end of a family of boys. His single mother worked long hours and was rarely home. His brothers were often in trouble. The house he lived in was very run-down. Billy's clothes were probably not new when his brothers wore them, and they were not always clean. He was an introvert and somewhat outcast, but Billy was always kind to everyone. He did his best in school, but he wasn't "smart" and he didn't get into trouble.

I'm sure Billy didn't bother asking his mother for money to buy Adam a gift. He just picked out the best toy he had that he thought Adam might like and wrapped it in newspaper. When he brought it to school and placed it on the gift table it was obvious to the rest of us what it was--an old tennis ball missing it's fuzz and color.

Adam came in and placed his gift with the rest. It was the biggest thing on the table--a big box wrapped in bright blue paper with a nice bow. I could see Billy gazing at it and wondering what wonderful thing it contained. He didn't know it was for him.

Our teacher began having us unwrap gifts in an orderly fashion. She had Billy give his gift to Adam, and before he could open it, Adam gave his gift to Billy. Billy's eyes lit up at the sheer size of the box placed in front of him. I'm sure he had never been given a box that big with a gift for him in it. He carefully opened the box and pulled out a brand-new Nerf football ready to be thrown. Billy could hardly believe this was actually for him: he was almost speechless. I am sure he felt his gift inferior, especially since he had just given it to someone who obviously didn't need it. Quietly, Adam slipped the newspaper off the tennis ball and thanked Billy for the gift. Billy thanked him for the football. I knew Adam didn't care about the tennis ball. He got a better gift from Billy--the true joy of giving.

I have thought about that day often over the last 20+ years and each time I am moved to tears. To me it embodies the true spirit of giving on behalf of both Billy and Adam.

The Serenity Prayer

2009-11-20T09:40:00.002-07:00

I have never been involved in a 12 step program, but I find that more than 20 years after I first read the Serenity Prayer I have come to understand it in a way I never thought I would. I think it was written backwards.
First, a few definitions.

Serenity-the state or quality of being serene, calm, undisturbed, at peace.
Courage-motivation to action despite having a fear of doing so.
Wisdom-understanding that comes from applying reason to knowledge.

With the changes going on in my life there has come much stress, fear, and some feeling of loss of control. For a few weeks, I was feeling somewhat helpless. I kept having to remind myself that there were only certain things about my situation that I could control, and the rest I just had to let go and trust that God is in control of those. During this time my friend (who is aware of what is going on) asked me how I was doing. I responded "What will be will be, and I can't change that." She remarked how calm I seemed given the circumstances. I realized that I had been granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. But this wasn't what I was given first. It came last.

I think the first thing I was granted was wisdom. Wisdom that there are things in our lives we can change, control, or even influence. Wisdom that, despite what we want, there are a few things we have no control over. Thanks to the gift of agency we can act and make choices for ourselves forever and about almost everything in our lives. The only things we cannot choose are God's choices for us and others' use of agency. That seems like a lot of things in our lives we can control.

I think the second thing I was granted was courage. Courage to change the things I can. In other words: the courage to be responsible. To accept responsibility for the great many things in my life I do control. I control (among other things) my attitude, what I eat, how much I exercise, my spirituality, my reaction to others' choices, etc. Courage, to me, is using agency effectively despite our fear of the outcome. I think a lack of courage leads to inaction rather than to bad choices. I wrote this post about how I used to let fear (a lack of courage) dominate my life. I am thankful I have been granted courage to change the things I can.

It was while I was busy trying to affect (read control) every possible thing in my life that I was eventually granted serenity. I got upset and stressed out worrying about how something was going to turn out. Not knowing the end from the beginning and not being able to control many things about it gave me great stress, frustration, and worry. It's like making some great recipe, but you don't have all the directions. You do your part, you mix what you can mix , add what ingredients you have, follow the part of the recipe you have, all the while knowing that you don't have everything and can't control everything. When it is time to serve it, you have to trust the other cook to have done their part: added their ingredients, cooked appropriately, etc. and left you something wonderful. Serenity is about learning to trust. Trust that God controls what you can't. That God will do His part if you use your courage and do yours. I was granted serenity last because I had to understand and then act and then trust.

Serenity is not about having my life be stress-free, or without hardship. Serenity is about understanding that there are certain things I am not responsible for, and then not trying to be responsible for them anyway.

Courage is about agency. Making choices to act and being responsible for those actions. Understanding that choosing inaction is making a choice and I am responsible for that choice.

Wisdom is about applying my ability to reason to the knowledge that I have and gaining understanding about agency, responsibility and trust.

God,

Grant me the Wisdom to understand what I can change, and what I can't;

The Courage to be responsible for what I can;

and the Serenity to trust You will be responsible for everything else.

And they call it puppy love. . .

2009-11-19T12:00:00.005-07:00

So here is Blanket and his BFF. Snoopy or "Noopy" was a gift from B.A.R.'s parents when they came out for his blessing. Noopy sings the alphabet song (though I am not sure for how much longer). Noopy really became a fixture in Blanket's life after B.A.R took away the pacifiers. Before the Great Pacifier Theft, Blanket needed a "plug," and Wa-Wa to go to bed. Noopy was good too, but not necessary. After the theft, Noopy travelled everywhere the plugs used to go for a while. Now Noopy serves as comfort in all the situations that the plug used to.

Noopy has been fed mac and cheese, juice, milk, and cereal. After each we have a discussion about Noopy not being real, and not eating real food. But Blanket insists that he is, and does. We now have rules about Noopy sitting at the dinner table.

Noopy is not able to be washed in the washer, but I have cleaned chocolate, dry erase marker, general dirt, urine, vomit, and many other things off his white fur. He really needs a bath, but don't tell Blanket because he will probably put him in the tub.

In Blanket's empty Halloween bucket he also has Wa-Wa but you can't see it. It is now a tangled mess of 3 pieces tied together. Wa-Wa is important to Noopy too--Noopy can't take a nap without Wa-Wa. Blanket can't take a nap without either. In the photo Blanket was pushing Noopy down the hall in his "bed" but I don't know why he thought this was more convenient than carrying the bucket by the handle.

There are sure to be other posts about Snoopy. Each day Noopy becomes a more important part of Blanket's life and incurs more rules about places he is not allowed to go (i.e. church, the store, etc.) I am afraid I will one day have to post about Snoopy's demise and all the weeping and wailing that is sure to accompany that.

I guess some things never get old.

2009-11-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

Last year I did this great post about Tiger and his love of shoes. At some point after that Tiger just got too grown-up for the whole thing until a couple of weeks ago. When he showed Blanket how to wear Daddy's shoes:Here they stand posed so that I could get a good picture of both of them. Tiger can walk around in big shoes, but he has big feet for his size. Blanket still has very small feet and is very small for his age so he has difficulty walking around in adult shoes. One day I even caught Tiger wearing Blanket's shoes. Now if only I could get him to put on his own shoes!
Yes, they are both holding Snoopy dogs. I will post about Snoopy at a later date.

Tiger is wearing 1 of 3 pairs of pajamas I made for him. They weren't hard. In fact I just made another set for someone else this last weekend. I got them done in 4 hours or so including the time it took to cut them out.

A funny picture.

2009-11-17T13:38:00.006-07:00

About a month and a half ago I had some friends that were moving and needed to spend the night at my house. It was very fun and most of us wished it could have lasted longer, it was very short and very crazy. We were all up early. They were trying to leave and we were doing our very best to make 9 am church. A few pictures of the craziness were snapped by my friend's sister. One is WAY too good not to share.

Blanket was begging for Rabbit's breakfast, and Rabbit was obliging. She is about 3 months younger than he is.

My friend's blog about life, homeschooling, cooking, and other assorted, related items is here and on my checklist over there >>>>>

Staying busy

2009-11-05T14:01:00.005-07:00

While I took a break from blog posting for a while I did take some time in August and September to finish this quilt I started for Tiger back in the spring. I had done everything but hide all my threads. It sat around as a UFO (unfinished object) for many moons until I got motivated to get it finished and up on the wall.

I made it from a pattern called Around Town published by The Country Quilter. I like using patterns (instead of kits) because then I can customize it and use fabrics that I like. I did add a few personal touches to the quilt that weren't included in the instructions.

I made the flower delivery truck into a FedEx truck.
I made the gas pump a diesel pump
I changed two of the yellow signs. One I put on a U-turn and the other I put a tractor on. Both of these are legitimate signs that I did find on the internet. (Where do you think I got the picture for the tractor from?)
The two white signs say "DO NOT PASS" and "RIGHT LANE MUST TURN LEFT." The former being a legitimate sign and the latter a little bit of humor all tucked up in my quilt.

The border/sashing fabric has roads with all sorts of cars and trucks on it. I bought it at Great American Quilt Factory but I also saw it at High Prairie Quilts. I also used it for the backing fabric. I machine appliqued all the cars and signs. I used Sulky Totally Stable iron-0n tear-away stabilizer during the applique process. I fused it to the back of the fabric at the same time I fused the appliques to the front using Steam-a-Seam 2. This worked well for 2 reasons: 1) I fused both in one easy step and 2) because I had to move each piece in and out of the machine many times and the stabilizer didn't become separated from the fabric. This is my favorite stabilizer for working with iron-on appliques. I quilted in the ditch around each block and then added some lines in the borders. I used a blue/green varigated thread for this and for the back when I quilted around each car/sign individually in clear monofilament thread.

I did cut out all the pieces individually. So each time you see a fabric change it is a different piece of fabric. The only things I did "color" myself were the checkerboard on the taxi, the lines on the RR crossing sign and the lettering on the diesel pump, stop sign, RR crossing sign, "DO NOT PASS,"and "RIGHT LANE MUST TURN LEFT" signs. In some cases there is thread painting of detail lines on the vehicles.

I have since completed 2 other sewing projects. The Halloween costumes and pajamas for Tiger. I think I will post pictures of the pajamas at a later date.

I'm glad I don't live in Provo.

2009-11-05T13:36:00.002-07:00

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not a horrible place. I grew up there after all. Lots of my friends and family still live there or close to there. And living there has its advantages (including being close to family) and disadvantages (possibly including living close to family). I am glad that I have had the chance to live away from there. For the most part I am happy not living there (we do visit somewhat regularly). I miss my friends and family who live there, but I'm not in a hurry to move back (or anywhere else for that matter). I like where I live, I like the people I live by and I'm generally happy with the condition of my address right now.

That said, I ran across this post at passiveagressivenotes.com and it helped me remember some of the reasons I am happy not living there. If you went to BYU or ever lived in student housing there in Provo you should get a real kick out of this note!

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/11/01/piece-out-our-imperfections-with-your-thoughts/

I like reading this particular blog. I love to see how other people vent thier anger/frustration/bad mood without having to do it in person.

The haul.

2009-10-30T21:10:00.002-06:00

Well, the first part.

Here's the boys enjoying the one piece of candy I let them have from their buckets after the trunk or treat. After I wouldn't let them have another piece they insisted on taking the buckets to bed with them (I did put lids on them). We will see what happens when they get limited tomorrow to only one piece.

Getting all dressed up

2009-10-30T21:03:00.003-06:00

for candy, that is.

Cookie Monster and Elmo were a big hit at the ward trunk or treat. And they did stand still for a moment. As you can see the photo shoot went downhill fast:

Though they still looked really cute at the end of the party. They didn't wear those head pieces for very long though.

And here's the proof!

2009-10-30T20:58:00.004-06:00

Proof for those of you not of my state that is, in fact, beginning to look a lot like Christmas even if the calendar still reads October.

FYI: I took both pictures w/o going outside. B.A.R. was kind enough to go out and use the snowblower to clean up the sidewalks, etc. It also snowed another 2+ inches after these were taken. Today it was nice and slushy and warm and about half of it melted. The roads were even starting to dry out in spots. Looking forward to a soupy/slushy Halloween.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. . .

2009-10-28T15:05:00.002-06:00

and it's not yet Halloween.

I see the snow as it fell

and now on the ground as well

And it's coverin' up all the leaves.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, and not like Halloween.

I mean, with this weather what are you supposed to do to make Halloween an enjoyable holiday? I have some suggestions for surviving this year's Colorado Halloween

Make a snowman and dress him up as a ghost.
Use your jack-o-lantern for the head of you snowman.
Use snow for the fake graves in your yard instead of leaves.
Break out your thermal underwear to wear under your costume.
Dress up as the old neighbor from Home Alone and walk around with a snow shovel and a trash can full of deicer.
Dress up as Santa Clause, 'cause you'll fit right in.
Be happy that your kids will get tired of being cold before their candy bags get very full.
Smile and exclaim, "We should have icicles on Halloween every year."
Put out your lawn Christmas decorations so that they see some snow this year.
Organize a neighborhood candy swap. Everybody shows up in one location and you do all the candy swapping in 5 minutes and then you all go home.
Put on your favorite Halloween (or Christmas) movie and boycott the weather entirely.

Just some suggestions to make your holiday a little more enjoyable.

Maybe we should celebrate Christmas this weekend, since the weather doesn't match the holiday, maybe the holiday should be made to match the weather.

With apologies to Bing

2009-10-23T08:30:00.002-06:00

I'm dreaming of a fall-colored Halloween

Where the trees tops still cling tightly to the last few leaves

and children go trick or treating without parkas.

I'm dreaming of a cool Halloween

like the one we had last year. (minus the stitches in my finger)

Where the trunk or treat does not involve heaters

and the costumes are not hidden under coats.

Really, since we relocated to the great state of CO Halloween has felt more like January. With the exception of last year.

The first year B.A.R. was here by himself and watching it snow.

The second year it was 26 degrees or so for trick or treating.

The third year it was 15 degrees or so for trick or treating.

The forth year the weather was a pleasant 50 something and while I sat outside and passed out candy and B.A.R worked to remove a fuel pump.

This year is leaving little hope for a snow-free holiday.

Wednesday we had snow all day. Yesterday the 3-4 inches began melting and revealing all the ungathered leaves underneath. I have no doubt that the snow will all be gone by Saturday, but I am also sure it will snow again before next Saturday. Since when is Halloween supposed to remind you of Christmas?

Dirty Money

2009-10-13T19:27:00.002-06:00

Today, I offered to make the kids sandwiches for a snack. They both got really excited.

Tiger said, "I want a sandwich with butter and money on it."

Lucky for them I made a sandwich with peanut butter and honey.

Preschool learning

2009-10-01T14:26:00.003-06:00

So I didn't send Tiger to preschool this year for various reasons; none of them had to do with his mental readiness. He will definitely go next year. We have been teaching him important things:

We are teaching him to subtract since he figured out how to add all by himself.
The difference between a "prop job" and a jet. Since we live close to an airport this learning happens whenever we are outside.
Logo recognition for all sorts of different shops and companies.
Vehicle recognition. Tiger can now tell the difference between a Ford, Chevy, Dodge, Jeep, Hummer and Fake (Toyota) truck. He knows the Honda logo and we are working on recognizing cars by logo too.

While we were outside this morning an Audi Allroad drove by and Tiger asked, "Mommy, is that a Jeep?"

"No, that's and Audi car."

"An owwee car?"

"Audi car."

"Mommy, thats an owwee car."

Conversation over.

-------------------------------------------------

What's the advantage of an Audi?

No Lint. Just ask Blanket.

Sunday Funnies Dictionary

2009-09-24T10:07:00.001-06:00

Dancing Monkey- aka Monkey- Desitin.

One day Tiger picked up an almost empty tube of Desitin and said, "Look Mom, its a dancing monkey." He then danced the tube on the top of the counter as if it really was a dancing monkey. After that I would ask him to bring me the tube and he would only understand if I asked for the "monkey." So now it is called "monkey" and is universally understood in this house to mean Desitin.

I guess I will have to call hooligan-type behavior "being a gibbon" or "being a lemur." "Monkey" is out.

Tiger speaks his mind.

2009-09-24T10:03:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago Tiger asked me: "Mom, how do you buy a sister?"

I had no good response then, and I still don't.

How much does a 3 year-old really need to know on that subject anyway?

Mistaken Identity.

2009-09-22T12:36:00.000-06:00

4 times in the last week I have had long moments where I mistook Blanket for Tiger. These often happen in the half-light of morning or at other less-than-fully-awake moments.

The first time I thought they had switched beds, but then I remembered that Blanket was wearing red pjs and Tiger was wearing shorts. The body in Blanket's bed definitely had on red pjs, I just thought that it couldn't be him, he looked oh, so grown-up.

The second time Blanket came into the bedroom to wake me up and I saw his head as he came into the room. When did he get taller than the top of the mattress? Oh, right. Tiger's WHOLE face is visible above the mattress, not just his crown.

The third time the boys were goofing off in their room instead of going to bed and I heard Tiger scream like he had been really hurt. When I get in there Blanket is attempting (with his limited vocabulary and lots of hand motions) to tell me why he is crying. Tiger says "I shut drawer on Blanket's hand." OK, but why does Blanket's crying have to sound so much like Tiger?

The fourth time I was snoozing through a football game. B.A.R. and Tiger are all curled up on the other couch and Tiger was napping. I open my eyes and see a belly and an arm holding Wa-Wa. I think, "Why is Tiger holding Blanket's Wa-Wa?" and then I realize that this is Blanket in his not-so-little-anymore body.

Everyday he looks more and more like a boy and not so much like a baby. Maybe it has to do with the fact he finally moved into 18 month clothes, or that he weighs 24 pounds, or that he says so many words everyday. Maybe he is just so grown up that I am seeing him the way I remember Tiger being.

Is this just a personal phenomenon, or does this happen to all moms whose first two kids are so similar? Landee? Standsmom?

Out with the old...in with the GOLD

2009-09-21T14:53:00.004-06:00

Make new friends,

and sell the old.
one is silver,
and the other (Pueblo) gold.
Or, as B.A.R. calls the color, "baby poop brown."

Meet the newest member of the family:

It weighs twice as much as the Jetta
It has 3 times the power.
It seats 8 comfortably instead of 5 uncomfortably.
It gets 1/3 the gas milage.
"Mama new truck" is the topic of conversation around here with the little ones.
It is 2 years newer and sports 3 times the milage of the Jetta.
It barely fits in the garage.

One of many changes to come.

Change in Life

2009-07-08T15:40:00.002-06:00

No, not the Change of Life just changes in life. You know, when things happen to change the direction your life is going. Things that change some of the choices you make on a day to day basis. Changes can be good, but nonetheless mean you have adjustments to make and new things to get used to. These changes have been taking up much of my time and most of my attention these last few days since I got back from vacation and found my routine again (sort of). Thus, I have not been blogging. As my life changes I am sure I will disclose more about my changes, but for now it is just change.

Note: This is not Hope for Change, nor Change for the sake of Change. Both of those topics belong on my other blog.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

2009-06-12T10:36:00.005-06:00

I know I have been missing lately. My life has been crazy. So crazy that I haven't had time to think of great things or even mundane things to post about. I have been busy with this and that and cleaning my house and playing with company and getting ready to go out of town and. . .

In the midst of my craziness, I have managed to take a couple of pictures of Blanket and the trouble he has been up to while I have been doing other necessary activities.

Here is is coloring my kitchen floor with sidewalk chalk while I am busy shampooing my carpets.
At least it wiped off easily.
Note to self: make sure lid is securely on sidewalk chalk at all times.

Then Tiger shut him in his room, and before I noticed he pulled 30 wipes out of a brand new container. I spent the next 5 minutes reinserting the wipes in the container.

Later I noticed that he had actually unplugged the phone modem (VOIP) too and I had been missing phone calls. Note to self: make absolute sure Blanket is not shut in his room, ever.

Blanket has just figured out how to get on the furniture. It happened behind my back, literally. He discovered how to get on chairs. His favorite chairs are the chairs in front of the computers, because then he can punch all the buttons. I caught him at this twice before I thought it might be a problem. B.A.R. caught him using a pencil to write on the laptop. I have removed the chair from the computer in his room. Note to self: always fold up the chair by the laptop and/or close the office.

As I wrote this post I stopped to change the laundry over, and came back to find Blanket on the chair, and my sunglasses broken (not irreparably because they are Oakley).

I shant know what to do when this kid learns to open doors (silently I am sure).

Dress-up

2009-06-12T10:30:00.002-06:00

Growing up I never really liked to play dress-up. I didn't understand it. Tiger isn't much for dress up either. Today Blanket swiped a clean pair of Tiger's underwear and tried to put them on.

Sometimes all you need for dress-up is your brother's BVD's.

Maybe he is practicing for when he becomes a superhero.

Maybe I should stop folding laundry when my children are awake.

Phenomenon

2009-05-30T20:00:00.005-06:00

We are experiencing an interesting phenomenon at our house. Words randomly spell themselves on horizontal surfaces. Here look:

An sculptor in the making?

2009-05-29T12:00:00.000-06:00

That's a rock balanced on ball wedged in a tree. Tiger is a budding artist.

On Discovering Yummy and Becoming Truly Coloradan

2009-05-28T17:25:00.002-06:00

A couple of weeks ago we (the whole family) went up to Evergreen, Colorado to return a meat grinder we had borrowed. Since we were that far from home, and that close to Idaho Springs we decided to head on up to Beau Jo's for lunch. I was going to order kid food for the kids, but Tiger was sure that he wanted pizza, so we just ordered the Motherlode to share. Beau Jo's is good pizza and good whole wheat crust. They actually have a bottle of honey on every table to top your crust. It was good lunch. Just ask the boys.

I gave Blanket a crust to munch on, and he had a bite or two before he demanded honey for his crust. Yes, he wouldn't touch the crust until I had duly dabbed each piece with a touch of "yummy." Then Tiger got in on the action and asked for "yummy" on his whole pizza.

My kids are now truly Coloradan, they love Beau Jo's and they have to eat it with honey.

There is another benefit to this discovery: they want "peanut butter and yummy" for lunch everyday. I used to make PB 3 times a week or so. I usually left out the jam because it made a mess, and didn't increase sandwich consumption. Now, PBH is eaten without complaint day after day. In Tiger's words, "With yummy please." At least now my honey won't get crystallized before I use it all up.

Tiger Discovers His Namesake.

2009-05-19T20:46:00.006-06:00

When I told B.A.R. about Tiger using his Tonka truck as an amusement ride, he told me I should have seen this coming.

Now I know my Z-Y-X's

2009-05-11T14:22:00.002-06:00

When I was on my mission there was an Elder who could sing the alphabet backwards and forwards. I was almost jealous, but vowed to teach myself how to do it when I wasn't trying to master a foreign language and alphabet (BTW I went to Russia).

I worked on it off and on until Tiger was born. I really wanted him to be able to have this great, unique skill. I started singing the alphabet backwards to him just as early as I started singing forwards. He has heard the song forwards many more times than backwards, but I continue to sing backwards for him.

With his learning to read skills coming along I noticed him doing this monologue for me: "A. What comes after a? B. What comes after b? C. What comes after c? D." He could do this all afternoon. He also sings the alphabet forwards in stressful situations like getting his hair washed in the tub or other times he needs to keep himself calm.

I wondered if his Z-Y-X skills were as good as his A-B-C skills so I asked him to sing "The Z-Y-X song" yesterday. He sang and sang all afternoon. I even got him to reproduce it here for you.

He does say all the letters, he just breathes in as he says "H-G." Feel free to teach your own children this wonderful song.

Subcapul hematoma

2009-05-09T10:45:00.002-06:00

You and I usually call it a "goose egg." It's the best kind of hematoma to have. This picture does not do it true justice. I took this photo about 22 hours after Blanket fell off a chair and bonked his head on the step. It looks about 90% better than it did 30 minutes after it happened.

In the 5 seconds between when it happened and when I picked him up it had ballooned to something the size of a 3 quarters stacked on top of one another. I basically ran and put him in the car while I am screaming at Tiger to just get in the car so we can go. It was 4 o'clock and that means "rush hour" traffic around here. It took me 10 minutes of speeding to get to the urgent care. Blanket stopped crying about halfway there and I got scared that he had passed out. I was a little too emotional to have been driving. We got there just fine and I was so relieved to see him happily awake in his car seat when I went to get him out. He totally acted as though nothing was wrong despite the now golf-ball sized bump on his forehead.

He played happily in the waiting room while I freak out filling out the paperwork and forget the date. I'm sure he had a headache, but didn't want anything to do with the ice pack they gave him. That's so his personality. Really, Mom, I'm fine.

Then yesterday, I was carrying him at the park when I sprained my ankle. He got lucky and I dropped him over the concrete curb and into the wood chips. His face is covered in lots of tiny scratches. Again, just fine 5 minutes later.

Some days I wish my Tiger was as calm and collected as his brother. Maybe I should be happy he isn't: it helps me appreciate Blanket's emotional range all the more.

Kids say the darndest things

2009-05-08T18:25:00.002-06:00

This conversation just happened in regards to my sprained ankle:

Tiger: "Mom, where is you other sock and other shoe?"

Sox: "Remember when I fell down at the park and I was sad?"

Tiger: "Yeah."

Sox: "Well, now my foot is owwee. My foot is broken."(not literally)

Tiger: "Mom, then you need a new one."

Another funny thing Tiger said today.

"G-O, Mom, go."

He was holding the G and the O from his alphabet puzzle. He had chosen those two and made a word out of them. And he carried these around the house all morning telling me "G-O. Go."

This makes me happy. He has known all his capital letters for more than a year. I just got him some learning to read videos and his reading skills have really taken off. I would love to teach him to read without the videos, but he has no patience for me teaching him. Give him a video he can watch over and over and he will master any subject. That's what I learned when I tried to teach him colors. No amount of instruction from me helped him learn more than blue. One video, twice a day, one week: color mastery. Not my preferred method, but I will teach him any way he will learn.

The poll has closed

2009-05-08T16:33:00.002-06:00

Now I realize that the poll closed over a week ago, but I am just getting around to posting about the outcome. When I first put up the poll I thought there was an equal chance for each selection. My son had other ideas. It seems the poll compelled him somehow. Less than a week after I put it up he walked. Yes, walked. Stood up one fine day and walked. First, he walked 5 or so steps to a chair. Then he walked eight or ten steps, fell down and then did it again. By the end of the day he walked 27 steps for me down the hallway all by himself without any encouragement.

The next day he tried to run.

I will try and get video of him walking up soon, but I haven't gotten any yet. For the record it happened April 2nd, no foolin'.

I'm so excited

2009-05-07T13:07:00.003-06:00

I can't even focus. That's right. I can't seem to want to do anything because I am soooo excited. What has me this crazy? Telepathy. Well, maybe not telepathy, but something close to it.

A few years back I worked a summer job packaging Windows 95. (I told you it was a few years back.) The job was nothing to be excited about. Mostly I spent my days chatting with my fellow employees while doing relatively mindless work. I met lots of interesting people (most of us worked for the same temp agency) that I would never have met any other way. The pay was depressing, and the work was mind-numbing. The people made going to work worth it. I worked that job for almost 2 months before heading off to college. I was sad to leave my friends, one particularly.

More than two years later I ran into this person at my new job selling auto parts. She came in late one night and sold her some much-needed wiper blades. Exciting, I know. The best part for me, was that she remembered who I was. That really made my day. I haven't forgotten that day, or that person.

For most of the next 3 years my life was in constant motion. I was on my mission, or working overseas, or going to school and dating DH long-distance. I was difficult to keep track of. Life happened and I lost touch with this friend.

For the last couple of months I have had this nagging to reconnect with this friend. The internet is great, but not omniscient. Especially when the person you are seeking has a very common name. I asked people I knew that may know her or her friends to help me find her. I just couldn't let it go. Recently, every couple of weeks I would get this intense drive to find her. Always, I couldn't find the right way to find her. It was really frustrating.

I hadn't thought about finding her for a month or so, and then I got this nagging feeling I needed to try again. I put it off for a day or two because I was sure that I had exhausted my resources in trying to find this person (short of a private investigator). Then I sat down at my computer and I had the distinct impression to search using a specific piece of information. So I did, and that led to more information that I searched. Eventually, I found her address, and webpage. I was overjoyed, but crestfallen. I had no email address, no phone number, no means of immediate contact that I have come to demand in this post-modern world.

I was sure that I had found the right person, and yet I sat on this information for 3 days, unsure what to do next (while knowing the best way to proceed). Monday, I finally sat down and wrote a brief letter. I put it in the mailbox in the late morning. Every hour I kept thinking, "does she have it yet?" And then I would remember that I sent snail mail, not email, and that my instant gratification would not be satiated.

Yesterday, I was trying to figure out what day the USPS would deliver my message, and then I concluded that it was reasonable to assume it wouldn't arrive until today. I put off my need for validation one more day, and went on to an afternoon of mommy tasks.

I wrote the letter timidly. I wanted to reconnect with my friend from long ago, but my greatest fear was that she had forgotten who I was. It had been 11 years since we last saw each other, and 14 since we last had a long discussion.

I got an email last night from this friend. She got my letter. (I'm picturing her tearing it open, anticipating its contents) She writes to say that she's been trying to find ME! but hadn't been able to. Since she'd failed to find me, she tried telepathy to get me to find her. I had tried to find her many times over the last 4 or 5 years, and one day the right search came to me. I found her. I'm so excited.

Now all I want to do is talk to her on the phone. Email just can't give me the fix that I'm looking for. It's like tasting a dish or treat from your childhood that you loved, but haven't had in a long time. Somebody says they will get you some more, but you aren't sure when. You still have that wonderful taste in your mouth, and you want more of it. There you sit unable to control this intense desire for something so wonderful, and unable to do anything to satisfy it.

So friend, call me 'cause I miss you.

Morning Accomplishments

2009-04-29T14:15:00.002-06:00

So I am going to take a moment and pat myself on the back for all that I managed to do today.

1. Avoid getting up with the kids at 6:30 (B.A.R. handled it nicely before he went back to bed)

2. Get locked in Tiger's room while dressing Blanket and Tiger. (B.A.R. rescued me)

3. Feed my children and myself breakfast.

4. Read my email/blogs/facebook while watching SportsCenter.

5. Shave legs and get dressed.

6. Allow Tiger outside to play while I load the dishwasher.

7. Clean up the cereal/milk Blanket has spilled while trying to poach Tiger's half-eaten breakfast and make off with the spoon.

8. Allow Blanket to go outside and play in the back yard with Tiger while I do things in the house in peace.

9. Put off doing laundry until tomorrow.

10. Renew library books online.

11. Take Tiger potty and change him into clean pants/underwear.

12. Deep clean my stove. This includes: lifting the top off and removing 10 year old grease-coated former foods and making my range hood sparkle on the outside and be 50% cleaner on the inside.

13. Clean my counters twice. Once before I cleaned my stove and once after.

14. Vacuum my kitchen (this is sooooooo much better than sweeping).

15. Lock my children out while I Cinderella scrub the kitchen floor to make sure I get all of the messes/stickies/goo/sand off the floor.

16. Notice that it took Tiger 15 minutes to tear the clean pants he has on. Big tear, not sure if I will patch them or put them in the recycle pile.

17. Put all the toys back in the sandbox.

18. Apprehend Tiger for going into the kitchen before being decontaminated from the sand.

19. Decontaminate Tiger.

20. Use 4 baby wipes to decontaminate Blanket of sand. It should be understood here that he has a runny nose, so he had boogers, and sand in his boogers.

21. Use 2 baby wipes to get all the loose sand out of Blanket's hair.

22. Feed boys and myself lunch.

23. Vacuum the kitchen again.

24. Remove Blanket's shoes/clothes in the bathroom to ensure that all remaining loose sand stays contained in the bathroom.

25. Wash Blanket's hair for 5 minutes to make sure there is no more sand, thus ensuring his bed will remain uncontaminated.

26. Put Blanket down for a nap.

27. Put on movie for Tiger so that I can check out for a few minutes.

28. Enjoy not being productive for 90 minutes.

Tough subjects

2009-04-27T07:43:00.002-06:00

I've been wondering how to tell my kids about tough subjects. You know, the ones that are really important, but hard for me to talk about. I've been wondering how to tell my kids that they have an older sister. How to tell them that the grandpa they know is not my father. I don't think that they are in a "need to know" place in their lives. But, then, where is that "need to know" place? When will they be old enough to get it? And when will meeting someone in photographs become meaningful? When will I be ready to tackle those subjects with them? Honestly, this scares me more than the birds and the bees!

You know you're a mom when. . .

2009-04-23T12:25:00.004-06:00

. . . you find Hot Wheels cars on the cookie sheet when you go to make cookies, and magnetic letters under it when you take it out.

. . . keeping interested parties out of the kitchen while you cook is for safety reasons, and not because help wouldn't be appreciated.

. . . you measure time in laundry units. For example. I need to stop at home between this and this so I can change the laundry over, or I can be at the park until the dryer is done, or I can watch (show x) while I fold the laundry.

. . . your toddler unpots a plant 4 times in 4 days, and all you do about it is repot the plant, vacuum the floor, and exhort your preschooler to leave the plant OUTSIDE!!!

. . .you're in love with the warm weather and your kids love of the sandbox. You're just not in love with the entropy of sand.

. . . dry underwear is worth celebrating.

. . . you feel a great milestone is reached when your preschooler turns off the light before he falls asleep, instead of falling asleep with it on.

. . . you look forward to having your VT over so that your kids will make a huge mess and have fun while you are having adult conversation. Meanwhile you have a great excuse to ignore the mess that is being made.

. . . you tell yourself that a slow 20 minute walk with your kids is "exercise."

. . . you have to remove cars (or dolls) from your sewing table before you can sew.

Yes - Man

2009-04-02T08:53:00.002-06:00

So Blanket is becoming quite the talker. His favorite word is "yesss." This is funny because Tiger rarely says "yes" (see the post below). Blanket used to do this thing where if you asked him to say "yes" he would, and then if you asked him to say "no" he would say "yesss." I tried to get him to say that on the video, but it didn't quite work that way. He has too much of a mind of his own now. He says whatever he wants. He will repeat you if he wants, or he will try and predict what you will ask him to say next so he doesn't always say what you want him to. He spent much of this video trying to touch the camera, he is so fascinated with it that movies are never quite what it is like without the camera.

A transcript of Blanket's part of the movie:

"Uh. Oh. Down. Uh, Oh. Please. Please. Jesus. Jesus. Yes. Yes. Moo. Dog. Book. Mau (meow). Yes. Dad." That covers about 30% of his vocal vocabulary. Other things he can say well : guck (truck), car, quack, cat, woof, ba (with a sign that means airplane), ball, more, done, up, go, out, mom, bye, buzz, wa-wa, waa (walk), woo-woo (train), tractor, cracker, cookie, lo (hello), hi, shoes, socks, eyes, nose, bath, and a few others. He also signs (without words): eat, sleep, music, phone, and maybe one or two more.

He is much more of a problem-solver than his brother. He won't really ask for help until he is in trouble. All of this at 16 months. Now if we could just get him walking!

How to jump when you can't walk yet

2009-03-21T09:23:00.004-06:00

First: your brother takes the cushions off the couch so that you can get on.
Second: he hands you your sucker left over from Valentine's candy.
Third: he unwraps it for you.
Fourth: You watch him jump until you figure out how to "jump" on your own.
Fifth: wait for mommy to start making movies.

Random happenings about the house.

2009-03-19T14:25:00.002-06:00

Tiger has a new word for "yes." This goes very well with his "not really" and "maybe not" instead of "no." He says "of course." I asked him the other day if he wanted his breakfast and he answered, "Not Really." B.A.R. asked him a few minutes later and he said, "Of course!" "Yes was a word he did not want to learn. He rarely says it, even now. Usually it is "Ok," "that's great," or some other phrase of agreement.

Blanket failed to take a nap the other day and so was extremely tired at 4 o'clock. I figured I would give him dinner and put his pajamas on that way he could go to bed on a full stomach as soon as he was ready. He ate about half his dinner and then fell asleep in his highchair. (Sorry there is no photo.) He had one hand hanging over the bowl and his other grasped a spoon. His head flopped to one side and he snored quietly. After about half an hour he stirred and lifted his head. He then put his hand in the bowl and continued eating. I was reminded of the scene in Disney's Sleeping Beauty when the spell is broken and the king wakes up and continues his meal and conversation right where it left off. I WISH I had it on video it was priceless.

Complements

2009-03-19T12:21:00.005-06:00

So I am out running errands today and I get two complements on my new sidekick. TWO! in less than one hour. I do always give credit to the Vera Bradley company for making such a cute article. But I am not the kind of person who loves compliments. I only give them out when I am really impressed. Maybe you could say that I am stingy with them, but that is who I am. I bought Sprite the Satchel (Thanks Lisa and Landee for naming it) so that I could have a functional accessory in a color that I liked; not so that it would get noticed every time I went out in public. I want to be given complements the same way I give them: moderately stingy. I guess if I assume people took the time to tell me they must really like Sprite. I don't care if other people like it: I like it and that's enough for me.

Shameless plug.

2009-03-18T14:19:00.002-06:00

Now, I try not to plug my other blog at this website. I figure if you want to know about my politics and musings you will go over there all by yourself. I figure you could follow it, or at least notice it down there in my checklist and look for the updates. I am going to tell you that I posted over there yesterday and I feel really strongly on the topic I posted about. I know many of you feel the same way, even if you are not ready to take action on your feelings. Please take a minute to jump over there and learn about a community gathering. I will be attending in Colorado Springs if you are interested.

Look out, there is another post shortly coming over there that I am sorely tempted to post here. Or maybe just a link to it.

A purse by any other name.

2009-03-12T14:18:00.003-06:00

For most of my readers this won't come as a shock: I am not a purse person. I don't like them. They just don't fit my style of being me. I have lived my life to this point with my wallet in my back pocket and my keys and cell phone in my front pockets.

If I thought I needed a bag I would graduate from being relatively unprepared (keys, money, cell phone) to overly prepared for every possible contingency. I would put a few things in a backpack, and then a few more, and then even more.

Over the last few years I have misplaced my wallet on a few occasions due to the fact it slips out of my back pocket. Women's jeans are just not meant for wallet people. This happened a couple of weeks ago and B.A.R. joked with me about needing a bag of some kind.
I was starting to warm up to the idea because I was tired of always carrying my planner around (this is meaningful when you realize I still carry my 15 month old around too) along with anything else that was "necessary" for my outing. A backpack was more than I wanted. I really just wanted a wallet I could wear that would hold my planner. I actually spent two whole days at the end of February searching for the right bag for me.

I found many I liked, most were the right bag, but they wouldn't hold my planner (or much more than a diaper and sunglasses). Or I they would hold my planner, and my laptop, and every toy my child owns. Really. I just wanted a smallish bag.
I happened upon a store at Park Meadows that I had never seen before. and I went in for a look. The first bag I pulled off the shelf was too big, but the second one was soooooo good I knew I was in love. I tried really hard to find a bag I liked almost as much for less money, but I could not. I did buy this one on ebay for about $10 off MSRP, but it is still a hefty price tag. But it's ok, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this bag, and I only got it in the mail yesterday.

It's a Vera Bradley Mailbag in Cupcakes Green. It may seem funny, but I had never even heard of Vera Bradley before I walked into that store and fell in love (with a bag).

There is only one problem. It's not my "purse" because I am not a purse person. My new bag needs a name. Any suggestions?

Check out my new 'do.

2009-03-11T10:18:00.003-06:00

I sat Blanket down for a haircut and he cried more than I wished, and wiggled a lot. But he did get the standard haircut around here. I am happy that I now won't spend all of church trying to make his hair cooperate and lay down.

No more turkey feathers. *sniff* *sniff*

In other barbershop news: Tiger acquiesced to having his hair cut. He whimpered and cried a little, but he never made me have to get dad involved in the haircut. That is the best he has EVER done with the whole buzzers process.

Take 5

2009-03-10T14:56:00.004-06:00

So I thought I should post some pictures of my latest quilt. I made it from a pattern I bought called Take 5. It is published by The Teacher's Pet and is available from most quilt shops and online quilt retailers.
Here's some detail of the quilting . Click on the picture for a better look. I took these with super-high resolution so it should be easier to see. I quilted it with a trilobal polyester variegated thread. I made my own design and stencil for the outer border design. I drew the rest right onto the quilt.

Here is a picture of the quilt (and a few toys that didn't get moved far enough). Again, click the picture for a better view. If you are familiar with a Take 5 then you may even be able to find the mistakes that happened when Tiger grabbed my blocks and reordered them for me. I noticed after I put the inner border on. I wasn't about to undo it at that point.

Now I just need to find the right way to hang it on my wall. Yes, this is about to be art for my home. If you have suggestions for quilt hanging kits or the best way to make my own (hardware stores and tools don't scare me at all). I would even just take some plans or rough ideas.

FYI: This is the quilt I was working on when I cut my finger.

How can he sleep like that?

2009-03-09T13:32:00.002-06:00

My budding percussionist.

2009-03-09T13:29:00.003-06:00

Music is really Blanket's thing. I set up the bowls and approved spoons for his use, and he stayed in the kitchen for 1/2 an hour without bothering anybody else.

This makes me sad, because I also took these pics because I knew I'd be cutting his hair that night.

Mom's are nice

2009-03-09T13:25:00.002-06:00

'cause they share their last girl scout cookie with you, even when you are way too young to truly appreciate it.

Too bad Samoas won't be around again until next year. Sad for Mom, yum for me!